A Musical Joke

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."

This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had ten or so patrons, the sop rano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest—and closes the bar

If you don't understand this joke then you need This

Bassoon

Take a look at how you hold the bassoon and where your hands should go. In all wind instruments the left hand is higher than the right hand. So the bassoon is no exception.

Bassoon players are sought after for many musical groups as there are not so many players. Hence there is potential to go a long way!! Are you game?

Read further on the Bassoon Here.

Brass Instruments

Here are some pictures of brass instruments to help you visualise them.

Trumpet

Take a LOOK HERE

French Horn

Philip Farkas was born to non musical parents on March 5, 1914 and died December 21, 1992. He was the principal horn player in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra for many years and left in 1960 to join the music faculty at Indiana University Bloomington. He wrote The Art of French Horn Playing which is a great book for horn players.

Here is one persons review.

"The methods and suggestions in this book are pinpoint accurate. Among the Horn world, I would have to say this is the most popular and recommended book. The book varies to all subjects of music and gives great pointers. If you have any trouble playing the Horn, this book has something for you."

People have reported that the french horn is more difficult than most brass to play because it requires good pitch recognition and has a more difficult mouthpiece.  Also, some people believe that it is easier to master the french horn if you have played another instrument especially another brass instrument. Other people believe that if you are prepared to put in the effort and practise then it does not matter if the freanch horn is your first or second ( or.... instrument ) as your determination will help you succeed, especially if you pick up a book like "Art Of  French Horn Playing" to help you.

Also as not so many people play the french horn as instruments like the trumpet, violin, flute, clarinet and guitar, then it will be easier to progress into orchestras, bands etc. These other instrumentalists will most likely have to audition and even if you are a very good player can miss out due to the large numbers who play.

Tenor Trombone

Bass Trombone

Orchestral Tuba

Military Band Tuba

The Orchestra

Here is a link to information on the Orchestra

Military Band

A military band is a group of people that perform musical duties for military functions, usually for the armed forces. They also play at military funeral ceremonies. A typical military band consists mostly of wind and percussion instrument. The conductor of a band commonly bears the title of Bandmaster or Director of Music.

Music played by a military band is ceremonial and marching music including the national anthems and patriotic songs of not only their own nation but others as well. Military bands play music whilst still and moving.

The Trumpet

There are different types of trumpet. The most common trumpet is the trumpet in B flat. Most composers will produce music for this instrument. However ther are other trumpets in variable keys.

There is a trumpet in:

~ low F - a contralto trumpet used for some Russian music

~ low C - a bass trumpet with a deep sound like a horn and built for the orchestral music in Wagner's series of operas, The Ring of the Nibelungs

~ in D - also known as the Bach Trumpet often made with a straight tube

~ in high D - used in some works by Stravinsky and Ravel

~ in high F - another instrument used for the rapid trumpet music of Bach.

The Last Post

Maybe you are interested in other trumpet music or even the fingering chart.